I'll be back, you can count on it.

I stumbled upon old videos that I took from the first few days before I left to Vietnam, to the airplane trip, to our arrival at the airport, and through the orientation week. I couldn't even believe that it was that long ago. The fear that we had as we landed in Hanoi, the excitement of trying our first mia da drink, and meeting all of the great HANU friends for the first time. It was so intense to watch it. I kept thinking, OH SHIT. OH SHIT. HOW AM I GONNA LEAVE??! There's noooo waaaaay.

And I still feel this way. I still feel like there will be a huge part of me left behind if I left. Honestly I don't know how I'm going to cope. I may be super depressed. But while there's a part of me that will be left here, I think there's so much that I've gained here that I would be shameful if I didn't take it with me back to the States.

I've learned sooo much here. It's so unbelievable. I am so excited to finally go home and share all these experiences with friends and family. I want to blow their minds with the idea that Vietnam has skyscrapers and cars everywhere! And at the same time, critically discuss how development still leaves many poor people in the dark. I can't wait to sit down with my family and talk in Vietnamese! That is the best! I want to share with my parents the new slang I've learned, the new accent I've developed, and my new understanding of our family. I know it will take baby steps before they can even think of me possibly understanding anything of our culture and language but I'm so ready to take those steps.

Also, I think a lot about the exchanges I've had with local friends in Vietnam. They've taught me to open myself up more to different forms of thinking, lifestyles, etc. Especially through great talks with my friend Thai Linh, I can say she's taught me so much about love, family, and life. This, I value so much. I can't wait to bring these experiences back home with me.

I've grown so much as a person here. I've had good and bad experiences here, but nonetheless, it was a goddamn GOOD ASS experience. Hopefully, one day I can go back to Vietnam and work. Contribute something to the world. DO SOMETHING about the world. But for now, I know my forms of communication will be limited to chat and email. I don't know how I'm gonna feel knowing that my friends are now 293829483 miles away and impossible to call for some tra chanh. But I know that I don't want all of us to end here.

To all my Vietnam friends: WHEN, not IF, I come back and see you, you better be doing big things. I want to see social justice, babies, smiles, tears, and everything in between. And we're just gonna repeat this process of sharing and learning from one another. I'll be back. I promise.